Descriptive Writing

Date: 11th Jul 2016 @ 2:26pm

This half term, Year Five have been exploring descriptive writing. 

Your wriitng challenge is to look at the picture and write your own descriptive paragraph. 

Post your comment

Ty-Lea wrote:

The angry clouds turned the sky black and the beach was as lonely as an abandoned ,broken hearted ragdoll. The ragged mountains stood to attention like a soldier preparing for battle. All I could smell was the strong smell of the salty air and the water was as still as a haunted , broken grave yard. The wind gently whistled through my hair. The sky turned from black to fire red.

Cameron wrote:

That s good .... very descriptive

Sophie and Kiera wrote:

Well done, Ty-lea. It is fantastic!

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Sophie and Kiera wrote:

The clouds swept across the pink sky, the wind rushing past me forcing me to tingle. Shadowy mountains lurked on the shore, that one droplet diving into the calm waters. Clouds moved slowly, dancing in the wind, whispers of a good night.

Kaitlyn and Ty-Lea wrote:

A beautiful setting description.

Tylea and Isabella wrote:

your writing is amazing it was really descriptive

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Toby and Samuel wrote:

As I stepped onto the cold, dry sand I saw a gentle waves splash on the sea shore. The clouds stared at the beautiful blushing sea. The sapphire sky shone over the mountain and through the thick clouds. as I saw blue sky it calmed me right down to my bones. As I took a deep breath I smelt the wet, salty sea. All you could here was the tranquil wind whistle past my ear. As I left, the gentle breeze bush across my face.

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Sam wrote:

As I walked on the seemingly abandoned shore I stepped on sharp, old sea shell .Suddenly my body was filled with agony. As I looked at the sky I saw what appeared to be one-thousand galaxy's. Out of the blue a great gust of wind stormed violently past my face filling my nostrils with sand. When I tried to breath through my nose I gasped for air. All I could smell was the salty sand.

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Troy wrote:

silhouetted against the sky , the mountains stood guard in the distance waiting. when I walked down diagonally to the right I saw a tall tower wave at me as the night past by the swirling sky was as bright as a rainbow . A brave wind ripped through the silence .

Katie wrote:

well done I love the part about the rainbow well done

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Jodi wrote:

The calm breeze danced gently past trying to find the hidden sunset. The sea glimmered like a large puddle of tears shed by the lonely mountain that pierced the marble sky. The clouds gathered together, trying to hide the sun. The moon took its place. Stars spread out like sequins on a beautiful ball gown. The sea eventually fell asleep to the sound of seagulls nesting on a nearby cliff and the sweet aroma of the breeze.

Cameron wrote:

That's good .... I like the sweet aroma of the breeze bit.

Jade Year 3 wrote:

I love your peice of descriptive writing.

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Cameron wrote:

The gigantic sun blazed behind the cold, snowy mountains. The soft, dry sand trickled through my bare toes. Pink clouds flew sluggishly in the night sky. The gentle breeze blew around me caressing my face. The few stars that remained twinkled in the sleepy sky. Waves came in gently like watery snakes languidly slithering across the sodden sand. The bright moon arose like a glistening silver balloon floating peacefully in the marble sky. The violet clouds shone on the shimmering ocean.

Harry wrote:

Well done that is very descriptive .

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Harry wrote:

The illuminous, amber clouds hovered over the wild, ferocious sea . The still, tall mountains stood as the light wind whistled past. A calming breeze lifted the gentle , cold sand. In a blink of an eye, the wonderful sun lifted over the navy, dull sea. The gushing waves covered the sand like an aqua velvet cape.

Cameron wrote:

Well done ... its very descriptive

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Kaitlyn wrote:

The vast, broad clouds leisurely glided across the aqua sky. All I could feel was the soothing, soft sands calmly blowing against me. I could feel my taste buds tingling from the saltiness of the raging sea. Blazing campfires from the top of the high, still mountains gave off a burning scent. I could hear birds tweeting from an unknown place. The Oceans wave was joyfully dancing. Dark clouds overtook the bright sun. Rocks were quietly tumbling down the immense mountain down to the burning sand. The wind had a mind of its own and sang a beautiful tune. In the corner of my eye, I saw the staring at me. The clouds were moving around like billions of sparkling galaxies. The sand painted my feet a burning, cherry colour.

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Reece R wrote:

As I walked onto the breathtaking beach, I saw the sapphire sky shine over the horizon.As I lunged through the ocean I felt the sympathetic waves tickle my feet.As I walked past the mountains edge,the smell of corroded sea weed consumed my nostrils. All of a sudden, a tranquil wind whistle past my ear. It was a cold yet calm night, it was beautiful. I felt like i was in heaven..The mountain ruled the island.

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FREYA wrote:

As I stepped on to the beach, I felt the soggy sand erupting over my feet. The sand was faced up to the beautiful sky as it moved slowly and gently over the sand. When the wind passed by I could feel the coldness . When I looked up I could see the pastel sky above me. As I saw the stars above me I started to drift into my imagination. When I stepped into the sea I could feel the sympathetic waves tickled my feet.

Tylea and Kaitlyn wrote:

We love your piece of writing Freya. Its a very descriptive piece of writing

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Jared wrote:

As the rice like sand brushed against my feet, calmly the clouds drifted across the bottomless sea and the sun ripped through them ruthlessly the mossy rock's rolled onto the beach shook like an earthquake was in progress. The hat like tip laid on the mountain.

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Lewis M wrote:

The clouds are grey in the unilluminated sunset in the distance with a two peaked mountain. The clouds raced over the world with excitement. At the bottom of the towering mountains are rocks that guard the coast and mountains from angry boats. You could feel the gushing wind running past your face and all of the slippery fish picking at your feet and legs you could even feel the salty, cool water coming up to you in the fresh, calming water. The gentle waves over lapping the rocks and sand of the shore of the royal mountains. The waves crashed against the mountains that go up to the sapphire, blue sky.

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Warren wrote:

A cloudy sunset with a huge infection of mountains. A colourful sky near the shore. The ocean flooded, the waves as calm and quite as a mouse. The air is full of little droplets of water. I can hear lots and lots of birds tweeting.

Kaitlyn wrote:

I like this piece of writing I can really paint a picture in my mind.

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Aaron wrote:

The mountains were climbing up the red sky while the purple clouds slowly crawled along the dreamy beach.

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TALIA wrote:

The magical sun was clambering over the old, crumbly and the clouds were tranquilly overtaking the light. A gigantic, dark talon stuck out of midsea. Sceptically, I sensed that the sweet sound of birds singing in the illuminous sky was about to change.
Then in a flash, the sun was replaced with dark, scarlet clouds.

it was quiet enough to be the end of the world...

Kaitlyn wrote:

I love your setting description I especially like it was quiet enough for the word to end.

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Katie wrote:

The cloud glistening in the night sky and the black mountains as tall as a skyscraper. The waves of the water crashing against the rocks.

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Ela wrote:

As I stood staring into the calming ocean I the tranquil wind whistle past my ear. As the sympathetic waves tickled my feet I started to feel the gentle breeze brush across my face more and more, as I looked further out then look up suddenly I saw the sequin stars burst threw the hazy evening sky and for some reason I started to feel tired and fall into a deep slumber.

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Holly wrote:

The intimidating clouds flowed through the sky like lava. Boulders from the crumbing mountains dove into the sea. The waves sparkled like diamonds in the setting sun. Mysterious lights shimmered in the distance like eyes watching over the soft, white sand. The mountains looked as a giant killer whale had burst though it.

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Kaitlyn wrote:

The mountain climbed up to the purple clouds. In the distance I saw mountains reaching there way up to the sky. The waves were making there way up to the mountains. I heard birds sweetly whistling a tune. The sand was burning my feet. I could see a slight bit of the aqua sky but the violet clouds were taking over the sky. The breeze calmly blew against me.

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Jodi wrote:

Well done Kaitlin. Great work.

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Contact the School

Rivington Primary School

Tennis Street North
Dentons Green
St Helens
Merseyside WA10 6LF

Tel: 01744 678493
Fax: 01744 678494
rivingtonp@sthelens.org.uk

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